What Men & Women Want ?

What Men & Women Want ?


Ashok Upadhyay, India

The concept of Marriage changes from country to country and from generations to generations. Marriage or relationships is for personal development of humans and on the spiritual level it is one of the most important tools for progressing through ones karma and the purpose of life for many which is not understood by many a young spiritual adepts. On mundane level it becomes a very essential and significant part of man for his achieving higher goals of life. Marriage brings you to a fuller you and completes you. To encapsulate it simplistically marriage helps in the development of the following areas.

  1. Physical Development
  2. Intellectual Development
  3. Emotional Development

These above 3 factors are part of the system of life. The Guna Milap system does not work in real practice though it is widely used in India and now by TV channels and matrimonial websites to attract the uneducated in astrology. Unfortunately even the most advanced astrologer has not statistically tested the Guna Milap system and documented it but keeps on teaching it and it has been passed on over the years from guru to sishya. Here in this article we would try to see some special points that look very ordinary but serves as a stunning tool in matching horoscopes for marriage or relationships and most importantly helps in understanding ‘What Men & Women Want’ in reality. Mostly we would try to concentrate on those aspects by which relationships can be improved between couples in understanding each other by delving deeper into What Men want and What Women Want.

Men Are From Mars & Venus

For Men – Venus decides whom he is ‘Attracted’ to and Mars decides how he will behave with his women.

  1. In male’s horoscope Venus will determine the qualities of his wife and the choice of the wife he wants. Suppose Venus is of Pisces, he will like his wife/woman to be artistic. If in male horoscope if Venus is well placed but Mars associates with Taurus or Libra then there would be difference of ideologies in sexual life. E.g: Mahatma Gandhi had Mars in Libra.
  2. Prithi (Earth) Tatva (Element) Venus in male horoscope then male would have in his mind/subconscious mind that he gets a wife from whom he benefits financially and status wise.
  3. Agni (Fire) Tatva (Element) Venus in male horoscopes then male will be attracted towards those women who are of dominating /independent nature. He will like women who like fast life and take responsibility.
  4. Vayu (Air) Tatva Venus in male horoscopes, then male will be attracted towards intelligent women who are linguistic, literary oriented, looks could be of secondary importance but first choice will be brains.
  5. Jal (Water) Tatva Venus in male horoscopes, then male requires a woman who will support him emotionally, understand his emotions. He needs her to listen to his feeling and understand him, this is of primary importance to him otherwise he becomes like most men saying ‘she does not understand me’.
  6. Suppose Venus in Jal Tatva and Mars in Jal Tatva in chart of males, these males can become eccentrics in personal life/ psychos. It’s a double whammy of Jal Tatava hence the above results.
  7. Suppose man has Venus in Jal Tatva and Mars in Vayu Tatva, these men will never completely surrender to wife since Mars is in an airy sign and his connection will happen to her on intellectual level first.
  8. Venus in Jal Tatva and Mars in Prithvi (Earth) Tatva in males chart, then he will utilize his women for creating and expanding his identity/status. Many a times you find in modern society that men marry women to flaunt them/their beauty – something like a status symbol. If this combination is found in charts of males, then it is found that 5H is stronger or children will do better than father in life.

Women Are From Sun & Moon

The way Sun is placed in a chart, that way she will have ‘Expectations’ of her husband and the way her Moon is placed that way she will ‘Behave’ with her husband/life partner.

  1. Marriage means taking the responsibility of the other partner atleast for one of them. Hence when responsibility comes in the picture then Sun is the planet of responsibility. In woman’s horoscope see the planet Sun and you would find husbands qualities matching the placements/sign of the sign. For e.g. if Sun is in Leo in the girls horoscope then you would find the husbands qualities matching that of Leo and so on.
  2. Suppose Sun is in Leo which is an Agni Tatva and Moon is in Aries another Agni Tatva, so what she likes, that way only she will behave with her husband. She will like dominating husband (Sun in Agni Tatva – Leo) and in return she will behave in dominating manner with her husband (Moon in Agni Tatva – Aries). But this combo of two similar tatvas of the same element becomes a problem for her, if husband does not dominate she won’t like it but she also has to dominate. Both of them cannot stay without each other – this is a common syndrome that is found. She will want her partner to admit his love for her in front of everyone (moon in agni tatva).
  3. Sun is in Agni Tatva and Moon is in Jala Tatva, then she expects from her husband dominating independent nature and she will behave in emotional manner with him (moon in jala tatva). If he takes her to romantic islands or near water then she becomes very romantic towards him. She would want her to-be partner to propose to her in private (Moon in jala tatva).
  4. Sun in Agni Tatva and Moon in Vayu Tatva, then she will treat her husband very nicely. In this combination there is less opportunity for divorces and she knows the likes/dislikes of her husband and will also be adept in removing her work out of the husband. She will keep her ego and personality intact and still remove her work out of the husband and it is only when she wants divorce it can happen not when the man wants.
  5. Sun in Agni Tatva and Moon in Prithvi Tatva, her behavior towards her husband /partner will be of possessiveness. She will be an excellent cook or will take good care of him food wise and also in bed (Prithvi Tatva). Why so since her Moon is in Prithvi Tatva, so she will behave that way. She will not like any interference of anyone in her personal life. Mother in law, father in law or any relatives should not interfere in her relationship with her husband, this is very important in Indian context where still singular families are maintained and every mother in law goes to an astrologer to find out if her would be daughter in law will adjust to the family.

Disturbance In Relationships – Saturn

  1. The planet of disturbance is Saturn in marriage, then 12th lord and Rahu. Rahu can make life miserable and Saturn has ability to make curd out of milk thereby removing the luster out of marriage.
  2. Suppose Sun is in Aries for women and Saturn of male is in Aries, then there will be no harmony in marriage. Basically the rule is any type of relation sign wise or aspect wise between Sun of female and Saturn of male then it will create big problem in marriage life. The male will normally not respect the female in such a circumstance. It can also create a form of mechanical relationship that is often found in Indian marriages. The golden rule is to apply these rules in Natural Zodiac charts of both individuals that by taking Aries as ascendant.
  3. If female’s Saturn aspects/associates with the Sun in males chart then there is no respect in relationship and can create disharmony. Respect among couples is the most important thing in a marriage and often forms as a strong pillar in sustaining marriage. Care should be taken that this aspect should be seen in Natural horoscope of both (Aries Asc).
  4. Any trinal relation between Jupiter and Sun of both couples (in natural horoscope) then there will always be respect. Suppose Sun of female is in Libra debilitated and males Jupiter in Ge, Li, Aq then woman will respect her husband.

Denial And/Or Delayed

Male Charts

  1. If in 8H there is Jupiter in chara (moveable) sign then delay in marriage. See 7L where he sits & if there is Jupiter of Chara Rasi (Ar, Cn, Li, Cp) in its 12H from it then also delay in marriage (this is common for both charts).
  2. Wherever Venus is placed, if in 2nd house from it there is Jupiter in Chara(movable) Rasi then also delay in marriage or sometimes create major problems in marriage life. Sometimes due to over smartness of the male there can be problems in marriage life.
  3. The Sublord of the cusp of 7H, deposited in the 6H, is the main cause of the delay in marriage. This principle is common in both horoscopes of males and females.
  4. 7H cusp sub lord whenever it is in the 12H from Ven in male charts then it will create problems in sexual matching; it will take time to match between couples – meaning for each to get adjusted to others sexual desires and wants it would take time.
  5. 7H cusp sub lord whenever it is in the 12H from Mars in male charts then due to environment circumstances there will be separation between couples. E.g. after marriage man who has job abroad has to leave his wife in homeland.

Female Charts

  1. Suppose Sun is in Pisces and Jupiter is of Aries, then the kind of person she wants either she will get late or never.
  2. 2nd from Moon if there is Jupiter of Chara Rasi, then due to her behavior there can denial or delay of marriage due to over smartness from her end. She might spend her life thinking too big of herself or of her beauty or money and thereby good matches will go away.
  3. The Sublord of the cusp of 7H, deposited in the 6H, is the main cause of the delay in marriage. This principle is common in both horoscopes of males and females.
  4. 7H cusp sub lord whenever it is in the 12H from Sun in female charts then it will create problems in marriage life.

Special Points In Relationships

  1. 7th lord of Rasi, if placed in the 8H sign of Rasi chart IN the Navamsa(D9) then problems happen in marriage. E.g. If 7H of Rasi is Sagittarius and 8H sign is Capricorn, then if 7L of Rasi which is Jupiter if it is placed in Capricorn Navamsa then problems come in marriage.
  2. If one partners Moon is in a sign and if opposite partners Rahu is in that same sign then it creates yoga for powerful magnetic attraction between couples.
  3. If Moon of one partner is in a particular sign and opposite partners Venus is in that sign then there is a kind of karmic attraction between the couple
  4. If in woman’s chart there is Sun and Saturn opposition or conjunction and if Sun in males chart forms association with this Saturn then after marriage career of man collapses or gets spoilt or changes E.g. Sun Saturn in females chart is in Aries and mans Sun is in Gemini or Libra or Capricorn whereby Saturn of females chart aspects the man’s Sun then this happens.
  5. If in woman’s chart Sun and Saturn opposition or conjunction is there and if Sun in males chart forms association with this Saturn then after marriage there will be major problems after 5 yrs, 19 yrs or 38 years. In case the sun of males chart is not aspected by Saturn of females chart then still there will be problems at above mentioned years but of reduced intensity.
  6. Platonic Love: Neptune and Venus relations give platonic love and attraction. They are always related to ether body. If the association between the planets is degreecal then the result is 100 % regarding Platonic love and it also gives ESP powers.
  7. Mars in a sign of one partner and Venus of other partner in same or opposite sign gives strong physical attraction. It can be even Mars 8th aspect on Venus of other partner to give such physical attraction.
  8. In females chart suppose Venus in a sign and in males chart Saturn touches/aspects this Venus or vice-versa then there is sexual life complications in their life. This we have seen working consistently especially if this kind of Venus-Saturn relationship is happening vice-versa.
  9. Saturn and Mars having relationship within one horoscope or Saturn of one horoscope aspecting Mars of opposite partner then due to workaholic nature of either partner there is complications in relationship.
  10. If 7th lord is in the 10H then the individual does not accept his spouse/partner as a friend. There can be good bed room relations due to other combinations/yogas but he/she does not treat the other person as a friend.
  11. The combination of dasa patterns of Asc, 6th and 10th sometimes give separation e.g. MD/PD/AD sequence in any order for an Aries Asc of Mars/Mer/Sat gives divorce or separation.

Editor’s Note: Don’t forget to check above points in the Navamsa ( D-9) chart too. In my humble experience they sometimes are found working in D9 when not present in the Birth Chart.

Categories: Astrology, Divorce, Marriage, Mars, Match-Making, Parashari Astrology, Venus

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 replies

  1. sir
    when both Sun and Moon in same tatva what type of qualities one expects from once spouse ? and how this native behaves with the spouse.? Is this means both are possisive of each other ? thanks.


  2. for person like life long bachelors or spinsters what to do? spiritual saints dont need remedy so am not going to ask about ramakrishna parmahamsa ji and others.


  3. Sir… Who so ever u r

    U write brilliantly.. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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